Encourage one another daily … so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13 (NIV)
With the arrival of 2010 I resolved to make some changes in my life to make things better. Spend more time with God, find a home church where I felt like I belonged, quit smoking, lose weight… all good things, but often harder than it sounds. I had even planned my first vacation without kids in January ( I was really looking forward to that!) … then found out I needed another surgery… UGH!
So I have spent the last 2 months recovering from the surgery and trying to cope with the news that there is a problem with my liver and the adjusting of my medications to eliminate or reduce the medicines that cause/irritate liver problems. And I am very ashamed to admit the depth of my despair during this time! I so wanted to yell at God and feel sorry for myself! I was in pain, supposed to be confined to bed rest for part of the time, lost my creative mojo and was bored out of my skull! Many people I have heard would welcome the opportunity to be on bed rest and be waited on hand and foot … call me ungrateful but I am not a good patient!
The light at the end of the tunnel is shining brightly though, and his name is Jesus! With Easter coming I decided I better make good on my promise to myself to find a church and spend more time with God. I have been waiting for a very long time for someone to agree to go to church with me… I really hate walking into a new church alone and feeling lost. But last week I decided it was time to bite the bullet and just go, even if I had to go alone! So I asked God to help me get there and He answered my prayer … next time I need to be a bit more specific and ask Him to help me be on time. I was so anxious and distressed I was 20 minutes late, but I did arrive and heard a wonderful message, rededicated my life to Christ, and left knowing there was a reason we need a church family and the encouragement of other Christians! Life is far from perfect, but JOY is not just about being “happy”. My joy lies in knowing that I have salvation through Jesus and the pain and suffering of this life is not forever!
So even though I am still struggling, I feel a sense of renewal and have vowed to think positively each day and not let this difficult time drag me back down into despair. It is all about my attitude… today I choose to see the positive things the day has to offer.