She’s my sister.

I am not an eloquent writer and I am really struggling to express what I am feeling. I do know that for over 40 years now I have been saying those words, “she’s my sister”, sometimes with pride, frustration, even embarrassment, but always with love. For years now it seems I have been begging God to keep her alive just a little longer so she can get the help she needs. It seems so selfish, but she is my sister and I don’t know how to imagine a life without her. I know many people have sibling they don’t really care about, and honestly my sister and I really don’t have much in common aside from our love for one another.
My sister battles a fierce addiction to alcohol and on Wednesday she decided to give up the fight and end her own life. But God has His loving hand in my sister’s life and she was found before it was too late. She spent the first day in a coma on life support while I cried and paced and begged. Begged God not to take her, pleaded with the ICU staff to let me see her, sent out prayer requests for her… why? Because she is my sister. Well God heard those prayers and He answered, she is out of the coma, off of life support and it will be a long road but she is on the road to recovery.
Through the years I have been asked so many times why? Why do I tolerate her behavior? Why not just let her self destruct and save my own sanity?  Why do I keep trying to help her? Why do I continue to love her? Why don’t I just give up and walk away.. many people in her life have done just that… and I only have one answer and it sounds so selfish… She is my sister.  Thank you for taking the time to read this and to those of you who have loved ones battling mental health issues and/or addiction my heart goes out to you!

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9 responses to “She’s my sister.

  1. Wow Cindy – what a miracle that she is alive. Sisters don’t always see eye-to-eye but there is that wonderful, unique bond that holds you together no matter what! I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for you but I commend you for standing by her. You’re her sister and that’s just what you do!!! Bless you and my prayers are with you both!

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  2. {{{{hugs}}}}}} because you deserve them!!!

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  3. I seriously gasped reading this, and oh have no other words.

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  4. Cindy love, the tears are rolling girl. Reading your words serves to remind me that my maternal Grandmother had the very same addiction, however, she was successful at ending her life.

    Having just met my birth mother nearly 13 years ago, I see the devastating consequences of my mother’s traumatic loss.

    My grandmother battled her addiction for so long, tried to quit many times and decided it was easier to quit life. It was my grandmother’s death that ended up separating my mother from me at the age of one.

    What a blessing your sister is out of the coma and off of life support!

    I KNOW you will be there to help your sister along as she recovers from not only trying to take her life, but from her dependency on alcohol. She IS your sister and I don’t know a single one of us who be able to completely let go of a sibling were we in a similar situation. You are not being selfish, but showing your sister unconditional love and have had faith that, one day, she would turn her life around. She has been given a second chance, thank God!

    Y’all shall be in my heart and my prayers sweetheart.

    Love and hugs,
    Linda

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  5. I’m so sorry to hear about your sister Cindy! Sending (((HUGS))) and Prayers to you both!! I know what a hard situation this is. My mom was bi-polar & tried to end her life many times, I know that helpless feeling when you are waiting & hoping they will survive. We also lost a very close friend 2 weeks ago to his battle with alcohol addiction, he didn’t end his own life, the alcohol disease took him. But these last few months we were the only ones who still had not given up on him & did everything we could to help & give support to him, even when his own dad had given up. Thank God she has you Cindy!!

    Keeping you both in my prayers,
    Jody

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  6. Cindy,
    My name is Paula, and I’m an addict.
    Thanks to God, the program of NA, MY Sister’s support, &
    other’s who didn’t give up on me. . .
    I have 12 & 1/2 Years clean.

    We harm many others, but most of all, we harm ourselves.
    Getting clean & staying clean was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
    But my worst day clean is still better than my best day using.

    I truely love the “Teach Me About Jesus” DDL Kit you are sharing.
    My Sister is 40, and expecting her 1st child. This will be wonderful!

    My Prayers with you and yours,
    Paula W.

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  7. Just wanted to see how your sister was doing? I know she has a long road ahead.

    Thoughts & prayers to both of you!

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